HOW A CHURCH CAN HELP A
LONG-UNEMPLOYED PERSON GET A JOB
by using
Natural Relationships Group
Intervention
by Dick Wulf
Some situations are very difficult for an organizational church to handle adequately. However, if the church would recognize and equip Natural Relationships Groups (NRGs), much could be accomplished. Results would be fantastic, and the job of church leadership made easier and more rewarding.
An NRG (or "energy group") is made up of an individual’s (or a married couple’s or a family’s) closest Christian relationships with whom they have regular contact in the natural course of life. This group can be empowered to solve serious problems in the church and succeed in the most challenging of church ministries.
Jesus is part of each person’s energy group.
Jesus is part of each person’s energy group.
"For where two or three come together in my name,
there am I with them."
Matthew 18:20
there am I with them."
Matthew 18:20
We desire to show you how energy groups can be called into ministry for important spiritual tasks, using the example of a long-term unemployed husband and father.
The following situation was related to me by my niece. The details are as I remember them.
My niece mentioned that a family in her church had to be split up and given shelter in different homes because the father had been unemployed so long that the family had no money. Let’s call this unfortunate father and husband Joe.
The church was very caring and prayed, offered counseling and gave a lot of financial aid. All of us would be proud of the effort this church gave.
However, as I discussed the situation with my niece, it became clear that her church, as would any church with which I have ever been associated, considered this situation the unemployed man’s problem. We at the Lamb’s Bride Project and ChristiansTogether.org believe Scripture says something quite different. If we belong to one another, then this was the church’s problem — to be solved by the church — probably the church in the smaller, more powerful form we call a Natural Relationships Group
What would happen if my niece’s church thought of this family's problem as the church's responsibility? If someone promised the church a million dollars to find the man a job within two weeks, would the church make it happen?
It is our position that this family’s despair is the responsibility of that man’s Natural Relationships (NRG or energy) Group. In other words, his closest Christian friends and relatives are the best people to help with this difficult problem. The problem is that this NRG does not know it exists because it has not been identified, validated, and commissioned to the Lord’s service.
Our suggestion is that church leadership assign one elder or deacon to help the unemployed man call a meeting of all those Christians who are closest to him, who have spent time with him over months and years. These should be the people who most want to see him get a job and keep his family together. These are also the people who will personally experience pain if his family experiences tragedy.
All of these individuals already care. Some have likely tried to help already, but the problem is too big for them alone. A group, functioning as a group rather than a collection of individuals, can do so much more. This group is a powerful form of the church. It does not compete with the local church but greatly augments it.
Individuals will do what they can, but when they feel overwhelmed, they will begin to avoid contact out of hopelessness. On the other hand, the man’s NRG will not disappear because their corporate strength will offset individual powerlessness.
The church deacon or elder will need to lead this group using the Empowerment Model of group/team leadership, which requires the leader not be a member of the group. In other words, the church leader will lead a group of Joe’s closest Christian friends and relatives. The leader will help this one-time, ad hoc group be successful in finding work for Joe. This leader will not carry the responsibility to help Joe; the NRG will.
Before going on, consider how no church committee or small group can intervene nearly as effectively. For instance, how will friendly acquaintances from the church deal with the following?
The following situation was related to me by my niece. The details are as I remember them.
My niece mentioned that a family in her church had to be split up and given shelter in different homes because the father had been unemployed so long that the family had no money. Let’s call this unfortunate father and husband Joe.
The church was very caring and prayed, offered counseling and gave a lot of financial aid. All of us would be proud of the effort this church gave.
However, as I discussed the situation with my niece, it became clear that her church, as would any church with which I have ever been associated, considered this situation the unemployed man’s problem. We at the Lamb’s Bride Project and ChristiansTogether.org believe Scripture says something quite different. If we belong to one another, then this was the church’s problem — to be solved by the church — probably the church in the smaller, more powerful form we call a Natural Relationships Group
What would happen if my niece’s church thought of this family's problem as the church's responsibility? If someone promised the church a million dollars to find the man a job within two weeks, would the church make it happen?
It is our position that this family’s despair is the responsibility of that man’s Natural Relationships (NRG or energy) Group. In other words, his closest Christian friends and relatives are the best people to help with this difficult problem. The problem is that this NRG does not know it exists because it has not been identified, validated, and commissioned to the Lord’s service.
Our suggestion is that church leadership assign one elder or deacon to help the unemployed man call a meeting of all those Christians who are closest to him, who have spent time with him over months and years. These should be the people who most want to see him get a job and keep his family together. These are also the people who will personally experience pain if his family experiences tragedy.
All of these individuals already care. Some have likely tried to help already, but the problem is too big for them alone. A group, functioning as a group rather than a collection of individuals, can do so much more. This group is a powerful form of the church. It does not compete with the local church but greatly augments it.
Individuals will do what they can, but when they feel overwhelmed, they will begin to avoid contact out of hopelessness. On the other hand, the man’s NRG will not disappear because their corporate strength will offset individual powerlessness.
The church deacon or elder will need to lead this group using the Empowerment Model of group/team leadership, which requires the leader not be a member of the group. In other words, the church leader will lead a group of Joe’s closest Christian friends and relatives. The leader will help this one-time, ad hoc group be successful in finding work for Joe. This leader will not carry the responsibility to help Joe; the NRG will.
Before going on, consider how no church committee or small group can intervene nearly as effectively. For instance, how will friendly acquaintances from the church deal with the following?
|
What if Joe is depressed and immobile because he has been rejected by dozens of potential employers?
What if Joe is very shy and does not present himself well in job interviews? What if it is true that it is "not what you know" but "who you know" in getting a job? What if Joe has run out of ideas about where to apply for jobs? What if Joe is really angry about his situation? What if Joe is suicidal? What if Joe has a bad work record? What if Joe is a felon and doors are closed because of that? What if Joe feels worthless to his family? What if Joe’s family has lost faith in him? What if Joe can’t spell very well and his applications betray his skills? What if Joe needs to move or take some other action and he is stubbornly resisting? |
Once Joe calls a meeting of his closest Christian friends and relatives with the help of a church leader, that leader would ask the NRG to take on this problem of getting Joe into a job quickly. In effect, Joe’s NRG would be commissioned for ministry. The church leader would explain how the Christian life is not merely individual responsibility. He would familiarize the NRG with the Togethers of Scripture and direct them to ChristiansTogether.org to prepare for their involvement with Joe.
Ideally, the church leader, not being a member of Joe’s NRG, would lead regularly established meetings until the purpose of getting Joe into a job has been accomplished. That leader would use the Empowering Model of group leadership that is available under the "Free Training" tab at the top of this page.
Joe’s friends and relatives in his NRG will get right on the problem. This is hard to make happen in the organizational church because of all of its other priorities. And the NRG will stick with it longer because Joe is their friend and they come into contact with him and feel his pain regularly. While Joe’s church small group can be helpful, they do not know him quite as well, can be dismissed by Joe if he gets threatened by their exhortations, and will not be as tenacious because their relationship with Joe, if they are not part of the NRG, is less permanent.
This NRG approach will be very powerful. It will help Joe get a job, but it will most likely benefit the members of Joe’s NRG even more. Look at this possible scenario.
As the NRG discusses job possibilities, Mary remembers that her aunt is influential at a company where Joe’s skills could be applied. But Mary has been on the "outs" with and has not spoken to this aunt for four years. To help Joe, Mary will have to mend the fences. But if she had the courage to do so, it would have been done by now. So the NRG must help Mary resolve this problem.
The group tries to place enough courage in Mary (Together #27: Encourage One Another) to approach her aunt and make the relationship right again. However much she wants to, Mary still is still afraid to contact her aunt. So, another NRG member named Manuel says that he thinks Gloria (yet another NRG member) has the skills to contact the aunt and set up a meeting. She will explain that Mary wants to make things right but doesn’t have the courage. Gloria will explain that she is a Christian friend who wants to help Mary re-establish a good relationship with the aunt.
While Gloria is shy and has never done anything assertive like this before, the group feels that these qualities will make her approach to the aunt receivable where someone with confidence would not be so able to break down resistance. So, for obedience to Jesus and for the love of Joe and his family, Gloria agrees to make the contact and go with Mary to repair things with her aunt and, in turn, talk about a job for Joe. Imagine the witness to this non-believing aunt when she sees this kind of love in action. ("By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35) And don’t ignore the spiritual and personal growth for Mary and Gloria.
Until Joe does find a job, many such actions might be necessary. Everyone in the NRG would emerge from this one task of helping Joe get a job more transformed into the image of Jesus Christ. How marvelous!
Are you getting the idea? I hope so. Imagine, if you are the pastor of a church, how much good can come from handing off most sticky situations to NRGs.
Now let’s talk about how Joe’s NRG could deal with the potential problems we listed earlier.
Ideally, the church leader, not being a member of Joe’s NRG, would lead regularly established meetings until the purpose of getting Joe into a job has been accomplished. That leader would use the Empowering Model of group leadership that is available under the "Free Training" tab at the top of this page.
Joe’s friends and relatives in his NRG will get right on the problem. This is hard to make happen in the organizational church because of all of its other priorities. And the NRG will stick with it longer because Joe is their friend and they come into contact with him and feel his pain regularly. While Joe’s church small group can be helpful, they do not know him quite as well, can be dismissed by Joe if he gets threatened by their exhortations, and will not be as tenacious because their relationship with Joe, if they are not part of the NRG, is less permanent.
This NRG approach will be very powerful. It will help Joe get a job, but it will most likely benefit the members of Joe’s NRG even more. Look at this possible scenario.
As the NRG discusses job possibilities, Mary remembers that her aunt is influential at a company where Joe’s skills could be applied. But Mary has been on the "outs" with and has not spoken to this aunt for four years. To help Joe, Mary will have to mend the fences. But if she had the courage to do so, it would have been done by now. So the NRG must help Mary resolve this problem.
The group tries to place enough courage in Mary (Together #27: Encourage One Another) to approach her aunt and make the relationship right again. However much she wants to, Mary still is still afraid to contact her aunt. So, another NRG member named Manuel says that he thinks Gloria (yet another NRG member) has the skills to contact the aunt and set up a meeting. She will explain that Mary wants to make things right but doesn’t have the courage. Gloria will explain that she is a Christian friend who wants to help Mary re-establish a good relationship with the aunt.
While Gloria is shy and has never done anything assertive like this before, the group feels that these qualities will make her approach to the aunt receivable where someone with confidence would not be so able to break down resistance. So, for obedience to Jesus and for the love of Joe and his family, Gloria agrees to make the contact and go with Mary to repair things with her aunt and, in turn, talk about a job for Joe. Imagine the witness to this non-believing aunt when she sees this kind of love in action. ("By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35) And don’t ignore the spiritual and personal growth for Mary and Gloria.
Until Joe does find a job, many such actions might be necessary. Everyone in the NRG would emerge from this one task of helping Joe get a job more transformed into the image of Jesus Christ. How marvelous!
Are you getting the idea? I hope so. Imagine, if you are the pastor of a church, how much good can come from handing off most sticky situations to NRGs.
Now let’s talk about how Joe’s NRG could deal with the potential problems we listed earlier.
|
What if Joe is depressed and immobile because he has been rejected by dozens of employers?
This would require some serious hand-holding and "walk-alongside" help. Reassurance of his worth will be most effective when Joe knows that supportive and complimentary comments are coming from those who know him best. Close friends from his NRG can invite Joe to activities that will help restore hope and confidence and override shame. What if Joe is very shy and does not present himself well in job interviews? It is far easier to take the first steps of becoming less self-conscious and more socially outgoing with trusted friends than with caring but comparative strangers from an organization you belong to. In this case, role-playing may be necessary and time-consuming. Those who care most about Joe will be more available for the time it will take to get Joe better able to interview for jobs. Note that Joe’s friends might be more frustrated with him than a church small group that has not had to put up with him for years. It would then seem that the small group can do a better job. But, for Joe’s long-term relationships, it would be far better for the church leader working with the NRG to help Joe’s closest friends acquire more spiritual strength, patience, understanding, and less judgement. What if it is true that it is "not what you know" but "who you know" in getting a job? While an organizational church as a whole has a lot more contacts than would the NRG, contacts from "a friend of a friend" are taken more seriously. In other words, it is less likely to be welcome if a person calls a contact and says, "Someone in my church needs a job" and more receptive if the caller says, "A close friend of mine needs a job" or "A close friend of a friend of mine needs a job." What if Joe has run out of ideas about where to apply for jobs? When a brainstorm of possible places of employment has not resulted in a job for Joe, more time-consuming Internet searching or phone calling might be necessary. This is a job for close friends who are more motivated and have more to gain when Joe gets a job. Even when a church small group is part of Joe’s NRG, there are probably others in his NRG who are not involved in the small group. If the small group is all Joe has in his NRG, then that group should encourage Joe to broaden his Christian contacts to increase his resources, especially if there are Christians he can come into more frequent contact with than a weekly small group. What if Joe is really angry about his situation? Anger can get in the way of a job search in more ways than one. Often working through anger is something that requires patience and time on the part of friends, not a one-time counseling session with an "expert" at church. Listening and challenging dysfunctional perceptions can be quite sensitive and require time-consuming gentleness. "Touchy" challenges to Joe’s thoughts and behavior are best given by those who have earned the right by past helpfulness or joint activity. (A resistant Joe might "have to listen" more to someone he has gone fishing with for years than a person who cares for him in his small group but whose life with Joe is not so cemented through sacrificial behavior or shared interests.) What if Joe is suicidal? Savvy organizational churches already know to hand this off to the person’s family and friends. They will have to watch him closely and often, and this is always best done by those in frequent and regular contact with Joe. What if Joe has a bad job record? The attitudes behind that poor performance have to be addressed before people will personally recommend someone. Those who have a long-term relationship with Joe will know his poor attitudes; over months and years, he will have exposed these attitudes to his friends and relatives. The organizational church can only ask an employer to give someone a new chance. But, the NRG can make the same request backed by testimony that a person’s closest friends have helped him change his ways and are committed to follow him for a few months to see that his work ethic and job performance stay high. What if Joe is a felon and doors are closed because of that? First, the NRG will make certain that Joe has the right attitude for long-term employment and will steer him away from the kinds of jobs that might tempt him to break the law again. In the case of finding a felon a job, it often will break down to NRG members or friends of NRG members asking a friend for a favor to give a felon a chance. Sometimes the NRG will have to help Joe develop a lifestyle in which he can be happy even though he is not making the "big dollars" possible in crime. What if Joe feels worthless to his family? There may be damage in Joe’s family that needs to be addressed by the NRG. Many NRG members will know Joe’s family. They can most easily work with Joe and his wife and kids. Also, these close friends can help Joe get over his shame and become more involved with his family. While he is unemployed, he has the freedom to do things with his family that do not cost money but are very valuable in the way of being a husband and father. The NRG can get these things happening. Some in the NRG may take Joe and his kids with them to the zoo, taking care of the cost, of course. What if Joe’s family has lost faith in him? First the NRG will help Joe get assertive in looking for work and help him change his discouragement and pessimism to hopeful optimism in the Lord. Then the NRG will talk to the family and help them readjust their attitudes. What if Joe can’t spell very well and his applications betray his skills? The NRG will have the time to review an application Joe has completed and then teach him to spell the necessary words correctly. What if Joe needs to move or take some other action and he is stubbornly resisting? Joe may resist some options because he does not want to relocate or do something else uncomfortable. If the NRG sees that moving or taking the unwanted action would be good for Joe’s family and okay with the Lord, they will patiently help Joe accept what he needs to do. |
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If you are concerned about the same things we are, we invite you to join our Advisory Team. This means that we will occasionally send you emails asking your thoughts about an issue we are thinking through. If you would like to be a part of our team, please email Dick Wulf at Dick@Wulf.com and let him know of your willingness to help.
__________________________________________________________________________________
If you are concerned about the same things we are, we invite you to join our Advisory Team. This means that we will occasionally send you emails asking your thoughts about an issue we are thinking through. If you would like to be a part of our team, please email Dick Wulf at Dick@Wulf.com and let him know of your willingness to help.
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Copyright 2012 Dick Wulf, Colorado, USA