Empowerment Leadership Model for Small Groups, Teams, & Families
Course 3, Lesson 4
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Spiritual Obedience Group
Starting correctly a group of people who want to help one another
live more and more for God by walking together with Jesus
as He did with his disciples before his death and resurrection
Note: Whenever "group" or "team" is used, it can mean "group", "team", or "family".
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Tuning-In to the Target Population
TYPE OF GROUP: SPIRITUAL OBEDIENCE GROUP aka WALKING WITH CHRIST TOGETHER GROUP
therefore,
the TARGET POPULATION is: PEOPLE WHO REALLY WANT SUPERIOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH, WHICH HAPPENS BEST IN CLOSE-RELATIONSHIP COMMUNITY
TUNING-IN STEP ONE: Understand the situations of potential group members. What are their lives like? What kinds of things do they face? What might be going on in their lives? What is normal behavior for them?
From their familiarity with the Bible, some realize that much more spiritual growth is possible than just knowing the Scripture. They have been in many Bible studies but believe that much more is possible. Many want to give God the obedience He requests. Some are motivated to join anything promising a deeper Christian life, but do not have vision of a life in close relationship with other Christians or with Jesus together.
Most Christians see Bible study as an end, not seriously as a means to Bible obedience. Christian identity is, unfortunately, tied more closely to knowledge than behavior. Those invited to join this group may have some difficulty seeing that Bible obedience is the next step after years of Bible study and that such obedience requires closer and deeper interrelationships. *** And much more "anticipatory empathy" can be developed. This should be given some time and thought until a fairly thorough picture of possibilities is developed. |
TUNING-IN STEP TWO: What might potential group members be THINKING about their lives? About themselves? What do they want out of life?
Some think that their spiritual life is more important than their physical existence. Some may be thinking that their life is a failure. Others think of themselves as leaders in the faith. Most want to be successful in life. Most do not want to be lukewarm in their faith.
*** And much more "anticipatory empathy" can be developed. This should be given some time and thought until a fairly thorough picture of possibilities is developed. |
TUNING-IN STEP THREE: What might potential group members be FEELING about their lives? About themselves?
For some, life is challenging their faith. Some are very disappointed in what they see as superficial expressions of the Christian life. Many are tired of Bible study which has been interesting but not that productive in changing their lives. Some feel that something must be wrong with them because they still have the same struggles with living their faith that they have had for years.
*** And much more "anticipatory empathy" can be developed. This should be given some time and thought until a fairly thorough picture of possibilities is developed. |
TUNING-IN STEP FOUR: Regarding the group or program you will propose, what might potential group members think and feel about it? And what might they think and feel about you, the leader?
Many are skeptical because so many Bible studies and small groups, while enjoyable activities, have not led to any lasting significance. Many may wonder if I, the leader, am qualified to do a good job or just was "roped" into doing it. Some are lonely and hoping that group membership will lead to good friendships.
*** And much more "anticipatory empathy" can be developed. This should be given some time and thought until a fairly thorough picture of possibilities is developed. |
TUNING-IN STEP FIVE: What do you think and feel about the potential group members? About the group as a whole? About leading the group? About your skills, the facilities, etc.?
I am excited about what can happen if the group members will be able to escape the Christian culture of individual faith. But, I am afraid that group members will not be able to grasp interdependent faith, won't take responsibility for one another's walk with Christ, and will settle for only a little more in the Christian life than they now have.
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Formulating a Motivating "Offer of Opportunity"
Formulating a Motivating "Offer of Opportunity"
Decide upon a generalized purpose statement that embodies something critical that (1) the group members want to accomplish and (2) that they need each other to achieve. It also must be a purpose that you want to help the group achieve. Design a purpose statement that connects what you want to offer with the critical needs of those you will invite to join the group.
How would you like to meet one night every other week to help each other discover the more powerful Christian life that comes from helping one another live more and more for Jesus Christ? This will bring forth the greatest spiritual growth and take you from Bible study to Bible obedience that is more than individual in nature.
In essence, the purpose of this group will be to help one another become more and more like Jesus Christ and live more obediently for Him daily. |
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Establishing the Agreements of "The Contract"
Establishing the Agreements of "The Contract"
The Contract is the set of agreements between the members of the group– and, also, the group and its members with the leader. The Contract establishes the understanding and commitment necessary for the group to accomplish its purpose.
For most of the first meeting there will not be a group, only a collection of individuals working at deciding whether or not they want to form a group. Starting with item #10, the group has begun and has its own responsibilities.
To get a group started right, the leader will:
1. Present the possibility of a group experience.
2 . Help prospective group members consider the offer.
3. Help those who want a group experience actually form a group.
4. Help the new group define their expectations through agreements that will help them
be successful at achieving the group purpose.
CONTRACTING STEP ONE: Using the “tuning-in” that you did before this first meeting, help the potential group members know that you care for them and somewhat understand them and their life situations.
Lend a vision about the benefit of group participation, especially the benefits of working together.
Addressing everyone, ask them to stay for the whole meeting, even if it looks like they will not be able to join the group being offered. Let them know that their contributions at this time will be helpful to the group that does form. Some may change their mind as the meeting goes on and join the group.
"Thanks for coming to this meeting. We will be looking at a possible group you might want to join. It is designed for Christians who want to accelerate their spiritual growth, not just in knowledge but in obedience and power. This can happen in deeper, more Scripture-focused relationships limited to only a few other Christians - a very powerful form of church."
"I realize that many of you are busy, but perhaps you can rearrange your priorities for this higher purpose of giving God what He wants when Christians get together. What are called 'The Togethers of Scripture' are both praise and the laboratory in which new righteousness takes root." "I also understand that some of you may be perfectly content with your present Christian experience. For you, should you want to join, this group will broaden your horizons about more that is available to you in an interdependent life with God and walk with Christ." "And, some of you may have been a bit disappointed with what you have experienced as a Christian and want to know if there isn't much more to it all. This group will most likely open the door to what you have expected when you previously learned about the church of the Bible. You will find that there are very useful but unexplored birthrights from your second birth awaiting you." "Please stay for the whole meeting if you can. Even if you decide you do not want to be in the group, your contributions might be of help to the group that does get started." |
CONTRACTING STEP TWO: Offer the group in as simple a way as possible. Communicate the “Offer of Opportunity” and seek their feedback about joining.
Plan helpful actions that will engage the possible feelings, thoughts, and actions of potential group members in a way that will help them overcome doubts and commit themselves to the group. Anticipate problems that might come up when you offer the group or program, such as concern for confidentiality.
Plan helpful actions that will engage the possible feelings, thoughts, and actions of potential group members in a way that will help them overcome doubts and commit themselves to the group. Anticipate problems that might come up when you offer the group or program, such as concern for confidentiality.
"How would you like to meet one night every other week to help each other discover the more powerful Christian life that comes from helping one another live more and more for Jesus Christ? This will bring forth critical spiritual growth that will progress from Bible study to Bible obedience that is more than individual in nature."
"In essence, the purpose of this group will be to help one another become more and more like Jesus Christ and live more obediently for Him daily." “What do you think of this opportunity?" "Who would like to join this group for this purpose, or something very similar?" NOTE: This kind of a group is very different from and yet close enough to Bible study for the importance and radical difference to go unnoticed. It might be best for the leader to begin with a short Bible explanation. This may be necessary to explain the difference from a Bible study where the emphasis is on learning the Bible and hoping that such is sufficient to change lives. This Bible obedience group recognizes that mankind was not created for individualistic faith and that deeper obedience requires significant help from others. To do this well, please study the articles in the drop-down menu above under "Help for Church Leaders". |
Be non-defensive about the offer, realize that this might be a new idea to them and they may have many, many questions. And, as important as you know this group can be for them and for the strength of the church in such a secular society, remember that not everyone will be at a spiritual level to want to join.
CONTRACTING STEP THREE: Help potential group members either accept the group as offered, modify the group, propose an acceptable alternative, or reject the idea of a group altogether.
Help individuals propose (or propose yourself if potential group members are unable) any needed modifications to more clearly define the purpose of the group, a purpose that is very motivating because it is seriously desired by group members. But remember, the purpose must stay one that fits your own purpose and calling from God.
Help individuals propose (or propose yourself if potential group members are unable) any needed modifications to more clearly define the purpose of the group, a purpose that is very motivating because it is seriously desired by group members. But remember, the purpose must stay one that fits your own purpose and calling from God.
“Do you want to propose any changes to the group’s purpose? Presently it is the purpose of this proposed group to help one another become more and more like Jesus Christ and live more obediently for Him daily. Do you want to modify this in any way?”
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CONTRACTING STEP FOUR: Lead a discussion on the cost of group membership for successful work toward accomplishment of the purpose. Things to consider may include but are not limited to the following: (a) time and length of meeting; (b) faithful attendance; (c) growing transparency, (d) commitment to help each other; (e) confidentiality; (f) make home available for the meeting occasionally; (g) etc.
“I suggest that, if you decide to form this group, meetings be on Thursday nights from 7 to 9. Would that work for you? Does any other time seem better? I might be able to meet at another time.”
“To be successful, group members will need to be fairly regular in attendance. Would this be hard for any of you?” “Group membership will require commitment to each other’s walk of faith with Jesus Christ. This will entail prayer for one another as well as conscious efforts to help one another grow to be more like Jesus. It will necessitate knowing and trying to implement how God wants his people to behave with one another. How does this sound?” |
CONTRACTING STEP FIVE: Acquire from each potential member an agreement to be a part of the group, committed to the group’s purpose and willing to pay the cost of membership.
Restate your “Offer of Opportunity”.
If anyone does not want to join the group, ask them to stick around for the rest of this meeting and offer ideas. Let them know that if at any time they change their mind and want to join the group and its purpose, they just need to say so.
Restate your “Offer of Opportunity”.
If anyone does not want to join the group, ask them to stick around for the rest of this meeting and offer ideas. Let them know that if at any time they change their mind and want to join the group and its purpose, they just need to say so.
“Do you want to do this? Do you want to meet together every Thursday night from 7 to 9 to work together to help one another become more and more like Jesus Christ and live more obediently for Him daily?"
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CONTRACTING STEP SIX: Ask for commitment of group members to each other. Note that at the beginning of a group the purpose cannot be repeated too often. It must be ingrained in everyone's mind as the ultimate reason for getting together as a group. Other agendas and purposes must be prevented by this conscious action at focusing effort.
“Can each of you commit, not only to the group and its purpose, but also to every other member? This means that you commit to help each group member in his or her role in helping the group achieve the purpose - helping one another become more and more like Jesus Christ and live more obediently for Him daily."
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CONTRACTING STEP SEVEN: Help the potential group agree to and accept your role as group leader. Give and explain your own commitment to help the individuals become a functional group and to help the group work toward success at its purpose. Make clear why you cannot be considered a member of the group because your focus needs to be, like a coach or consultant, on helping the group develop and grow into a strong team. Explain that you cannot do that and also focus on helping group members in their Christian life. Make sure they know that success is and must be in their control.
“As group leader it is my job to help your group do its best to achieve the group purpose. It is not my position to be a member of the group. I cannot be a part of the group’s process if I am to continually analyze what is going on and determine what the group and individual members need to do to be successful."
"My role is kind of like a coach, and your group is like a football team. I help. You do the work of the group. As long as you are in agreement to work at helping each other grow in faith, I will commit to help you as a group to my best ability, with God’s help.” “If you think of Jesus’ leadership style, He was not a member of the group of disciples. We speak of ‘Jesus and His disciples’, recognizing that He had a different function than each of the twelve.” “In the same way, I must not do what you are capable of doing. Otherwise, I will hold the group back from the growth that brings obedience and success. It is your group, and you must become capable to do the work. I will not be distant or inactive, I will just be doing those things that will help you develop a healthy group that works toward its purpose.” “Maybe, in time, after the group as a whole has learned to do most of its own leadership, it will be less necessary for me to stand back in order to see the big view and analyze the group’s effectiveness. At that time I can become a little more active, but still not as a full-fledged group member. But for the time being, I need to have a very objective view of things from outside of the group.” “Do you agree to this leadership arrangement?” |
CONTRACTING STEP EIGHT: When they agree, it is time for you to commit yourself to help the group and its group members.
“Since you’ve committed yourselves to the group, to one another, and to my help, I’m with you. I’ll help you as best as I can.”
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CONTRACTING STEP NINE: Explain that they have just formed a group: two or more people who need each other to work on a common purpose.
“You have just done the most important thing for group success -- you have become a group with a purpose that you will work on together as a group to achieve.”
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CONTRACTING STEP TEN: Go over a little more carefully who is to be a "true" member of their group. Explain that membership has benefits like cooperation and friendliness and respectfulness. Ask them if anyone cannot give those things to the people in the room who have accepted membership. Usually they will readily agree, and this may be important later if any of those things are withheld from someone.
Ask the group if there is anyone they know of who should be invited to be a member of the group, but was not.
Ask the group if there is anyone they know of who should be invited to be a member of the group, but was not.
“Now you need to decide upon membership, who you want to be a member of your group. Do you agree that each of you is to be a member and receive the advantages of membership, advantages such as friendliness and help?”
“Do you want anyone else in the group, anyone not here now?” |
CONTRACTING STEP ELEVEN: Help the group explore the feelings of each member about being in the group so that work in the group can be as free as possible of fear, ambivalence, anger, embarrassment, etc.
“It will help if the group will ask each member how it feels to be in such a group as this is going to be.”
"Seek out if anyone has reservations and fears. Help each of your members to express hopes and expectations." |
CONTRACTING STEP TWELVE: Help the group explore what kinds of individual behavior will be expected of each of the members if the group is to go well and be successful in working toward the group purpose. After dealing with individual behaviors that will help the group succeed, discuss what behaviors will be detrimental to group success.
“It would be a good idea at this time to discuss among yourselves what might be required from each of you to help the group successfully work at accomplishing the group’s purpose of helping one another become more and more like Jesus Christ and live more obediently for Him daily.”
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CONTRACTING STEP THIRTEEN: Help the group consider what it will need to do as a group, i.e. the group as a whole rather than the individual members. Help them to identify things like creating a "can do", positive, accepting atmosphere. There is no need for the group members to understand the span of their responsibilities. But they do need to know that the group as a whole will need to do many things – as a group. Considering some of them at the beginning of the group will focus the minds of group members on their existence as a group as a whole rather than as individuals.
“You might want to think of your group as a football team. There are many things that each of you must do for the group to be successful, as we have already discussed. For example, one of you might have to block, another go out for a pass, and another throw the football.”
“But, like a football team, there are many things you will have to do as a group. The football team as a group needs to get the ball across the goal line. You as a group also have responsibilities such as making every group member feel important, accepted and capable of becoming more like Jesus Christ.” “So, what other things can you think of that you will have to do as a group? What can your group do, and must do, that no individual member can accomplish? For example, only the group as a whole can make the group a safe place.” |
YOU AND THE GROUP PAUSE AND DISCUSS
“Let me run through a few of the group’s responsibilities. The group will need to stay on track and keep focused on its purpose. Most groups fail because they do not fully understand and faithfully pursue their purpose. You will need to see that everyone in the group is helped. Etc. Etc.”
“Sometimes the group will be like a wrestling tag match. One of you will say something to somebody. That somebody will not understand. Another of you will explain what was said in your own different way of saying things. That will probably help the person understand what the first person said to him or her. Maybe somebody will become defensive. Then someone else will reassure that person of his or her worth, even though what was said might be true. Occasionally, and this is a sign of a strong group, one of you will invite another to help in the process, such as saying, ‘Mike, you have a good way of saying things. Can you tell Carol what you heard Mary saying to her?’ This is called synergy, and it shows how much more you can get done working as a group.” |
CONTRACTING STEP FOURTEEN: Help the group discuss general goals necessary to achieve the group's purpose.
“You now need to decide what you want to do together in the sense of goals and general activities. For example, what do you want to accomplish? After you decide that, then you can decide upon a loose structure to guide your meetings into successful obedience. For example, if you decide that you want to help each other with the really difficult things you encounter in living for Christ, then you will have to structure your meetings so that there is ample time to talk about what is going on in each of your lives. Etc.”
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Copyright 2012 Dick Wulf, Colorado, USA