Empowerment Leadership Model for Small Groups, Teams, & Families
Course 3, Lesson 16
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Vacation with Friends
Starting a vacation correctly for best success.
This process is very similar to what we wrote for a Family Day Trip.
Since it is a bit more complicated, we will be thinking of one couple
bringing together 2 other couples to go on a week-long vacation.
Note: Whenever "group" or "team" is used, it can mean "group", "team", or "family".
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Tuning-In to the Target Population
TYPE OF GROUP: THE TWO OF YOU & TWO OTHER COUPLES
therefore,
the TARGET POPULATION is: JOHN & MARY JONES and STEVE & LINDA SMITH
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TUNING-IN STEP ONE: Understand the situations of potential group members. What are their lives like? What kinds of things do they face? What might be going on in their lives? What is normal behavior for them?
John and Mary Jones do not get out and do fun things very much. They are both very busy with work and other responsibilities. Steve and Linda Smith are active in many groups and do many fun things.
John and Mary have much more expendable income than Steve and Linda. |
TUNING-IN STEP TWO: What might potential group members be THINKING about their lives? About themselves? What do they want out of life?
John is pretty content to be busy with responsibilities all the time, and does not think that vacations are all that necessary. Mary, on the other hand, thinks that the relationship with John has deteriorated by too little time spent together. John thinks his marriage is really solid.
Steve and Linda both think that having fun and going places is necessary to a happy life. |
TUNING-IN STEP THREE: What might potential group members be FEELING about their lives? About themselves?
John feels content with his life and does not necessarily feel the need for time off of work or vacations. Mary longs to see more of the world than just her workplace.
Steve feels the need for fun but feels less the need for closer human interaction. He is content with superficial relationships. Linda, on the other hand, wishes that they did not just do fun things but that they got to know people more. |
TUNING-IN STEP FOUR: Regarding the group or program you will propose, what might potential group members think and feel about it? And what might they think and feel about you, the leader?
Only John will be hesitant about committing. The two couples like us and will appreciate us pulling a one week vacation together.
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TUNING-IN STEP FIVE: What do you think and feel about the potential group members? About the group as a whole? About leading the group? About your skills, the facilities, etc.?
We like these two couples and have done a few "evenings out" before that went very well. We know that we will have to help John leave behind his "production orientation" for a week.
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Formulating a Motivating "Offer of Opportunity"
Formulating a Motivating "Offer of Opportunity"
Decide upon a generalized purpose statement that embodies something critical that (1) members really want and (2) that they need each other to achieve. It also must be a purpose that you want to help the group achieve. Design a purpose statement that connects what you want and the others want.
How about the six of us taking a week off and going on a vacation together where we help each other decide on some fun things to do and then help all of us really enjoy the week?
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Establishing the Agreements of "The Contract"
Establishing the Agreements of "The Contract"
The Contract is the set of agreements between the members of the group– and, also, the group and its members with the leader. The Contract establishes the understanding and commitment necessary for the group to accomplish its purpose.
For most of the first meeting there will not be a group, only a collection of individuals working at deciding whether or not they want to form a group. Starting with item #10, the group has begun and has its own responsibilities.
To get a group started right, the leader will:
1. Present the possibility of a group experience.
2 . Help prospective group members consider the offer.
3. Help those who want a group experience actually form a group.
4. Help the new group define their expectations through agreements that will help them
be successful at achieving the group purpose.
CONTRACTING STEP ONE: Using the “tuning-in” that you did before this first meeting, help the potential group members know that you care for them and somewhat understand them and their life situations.
Lend a vision about the benefit of group participation, especially the benefits of working together.
"We all could use a fun trip to get away from work and clear our minds. John, we know that you love to keep busy with your business, but a break will help your creativity restart. And, we enjoy one another. The few evenings we have spent together have been fun, but if we spend a week together we can get to know one another better. Who knows, maybe we can even help each other expand our thinking and enjoy more things."
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CONTRACTING STEP TWO: Offer the vacation in as simple a way as possible. Communicate the “Offer of Opportunity” and seek their feedback about joining.
Plan helpful actions that will engage the possible feelings, thoughts, and actions of potential group members in a way that will help them overcome doubts and commit themselves to the group. Anticipate problems that might come up when you offer the group or program, such as concern for competing activities.
Plan helpful actions that will engage the possible feelings, thoughts, and actions of potential group members in a way that will help them overcome doubts and commit themselves to the group. Anticipate problems that might come up when you offer the group or program, such as concern for competing activities.
"So, the purpose of this vacation would be to help each other decide on some fun things to do and then help all of us really enjoy the week."
"What do you think about this?" |
CONTRACTING STEP THREE: Help potential group members either accept the group as offered, modify the group, propose an acceptable alternative, or reject the idea of a group altogether.
Help individuals propose (or propose yourself if potential group members are unable) any needed modifications to more clearly define the purpose of the group, a purpose that is very motivating because it is seriously desired by group members. But remember, the purpose must stay one that fits your own desired purpose.
Help individuals propose (or propose yourself if potential group members are unable) any needed modifications to more clearly define the purpose of the group, a purpose that is very motivating because it is seriously desired by group members. But remember, the purpose must stay one that fits your own desired purpose.
“Can anyone think of anything to add to improve the trip purpose of helping each other decide on some fun things to do and then help all of us really enjoy the week?"
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CONTRACTING STEP FOUR: Lead a discussion on the cost of having a successful day trip.
Things to consider may include but are not limited to the following: (a) keeping in mind each person's needs, especially health and medical needs and limitations, (b) acceptance of what everyone likes to do, (c) helping in all aspects of the trip, (d) going alone with a few things you don't enjoy, and (e) a host of other things. Ask everyone to contribute to the list.
Things to consider may include but are not limited to the following: (a) keeping in mind each person's needs, especially health and medical needs and limitations, (b) acceptance of what everyone likes to do, (c) helping in all aspects of the trip, (d) going alone with a few things you don't enjoy, and (e) a host of other things. Ask everyone to contribute to the list.
“Since we all think this might be a good idea, let's talk about what will be necessary if we are to plan and carry out a vacation where we help each other decide on some fun things to do and then help all of us really enjoy the week."
"I will start the list. Everyone will need to remember that everyone is important all the time. What else comes to mind?" |
CONTRACTING STEP FIVE: Acquire from each potential member an agreement to be a part of the group, committed to the group’s purpose and willing to pay the cost of membership.
Restate your “Offer of Opportunity”.
Restate your “Offer of Opportunity”.
“Do we want to do this? Do we want to go on vacation together and help each other decide on some fun things to do and then help all of us really enjoy the week?"
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CONTRACTING STEP SIX: Not so necessary for this type of group.
CONTRACTING STEP SEVEN: Not so necessary for this type of group.
CONTRACTING STEP EIGHT: Not so necessary for this type of group.
CONTRACTING STEP NINE: Not so necessary for this type of group.
CONTRACTING STEP TEN: Not necessary for this type of group.
CONTRACTING STEP ELEVEN: Help the group explore the feelings of each member about being in the group so that work in the group can be as free as possible of fear, ambivalence, anger, embarrassment, etc.
“It will help us do this well if we ask each other how it feels to be going on vacation together. This is the time to deal with anyone's reservations and fears.”
"What are our hopes and expectations?" |
CONTRACTING STEP TWELVE: Help the group explore what kinds of individual behavior will be expected of each of the members if the group is to go well and be successful in working toward the group purpose. After dealing with individual behaviors that will help the group succeed, discuss what behaviors will be detrimental to group success.
“What might be required from each of us to bring success? What do we each need to do that hasn't already been mentioned?'
"How about each other's strengths? Who do we need to do what out of their talents and previous vacation experiences?" |
CONTRACTING STEP THIRTEEN: Help the group consider what it will need to do as a group, i.e. the group as a whole rather than the individual members. Help them to identify things like creating a "can do", positive, accepting atmosphere. There is no need for the group members to understand the span of their responsibilities. But they do need to know that the group as a whole will need to do many things – as a group. Considering some of them at the beginning of the group will focus the minds of group members on their existence as a group as a whole rather than as individuals.
“You might want to think of ourselves as if we are a football team. There are many things that each of us must do for the team to be successful, as we have already discussed. For example, one of you might have to block, another go out for a pass, and another throw the football.”
“But, like a football team, there are many things you will have to do as a group. The football team as a group needs to get the ball across the goal line. As a team, we also have responsibilities such as making everyone feel important, accepted and capable of fulfilling a significant role on the vacation.” “So, what other things can you think of that you will have to do as a vacation team? What do we need to do that no individual member can accomplish? For example, only all of us together can make the vacation a safe place to suggest and try new things.” |
CONTRACTING STEP FOURTEEN: Help the group discuss general goals necessary to achieve the group's purpose. This is where the three couples will decide what kinds of activities they would like to do and, then, where best to go to be able to do those things.
Copyright 2012 Dick Wulf, Colorado, USA