Lesson 2/13

Empowerment Leadership Model for Small Groups, Teams, & Families
Course 2, Lesson 13

Providing Emotional Help to Members
&
Providing Mutual Aid to Members
(if necessary for accomplishment of the purpose)

Note: Whenever "group" or "team" is used, it can mean "group", "team", or "family".
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Emotional Help

The group has the responsibility of providing emotional help to group members and the group as a whole as it is necessary to accomplish the group purpose. Group members must be taken care of (to some reasonable extent) and helped if they are to be effective as members. Every group member should be critical to reaching the group purpose. Therefore, every group member should be entitled to emotional support from the group and its other members.

The very silent, socially challenged but quite brilliant group member who often says blunt or insensitive things but sometimes says something extremely brilliant needs to receive friendliness and warmth from the group to hang in there with the group and be available for that moment when his comment will make a critical difference. The over-talkative person whose verbosity must be challenged will need the emotional support of acceptance and love when the non-judgmental, constructive criticism is offered. Regular members will need to know that they are important to the group and its members – as people. They will need emotional support in all sorts of ways, depending upon what is going on in their lives. For example, the elder at the church board meeting who is struggling with the prospect of job loss might need to express his fears and receive statements of emotional caring and prayer from the other board members before he will be able to be effective that evening in managing the church’s business.

As group leader, you will want to watch for individuals who need emotional support to continue their best level of group participation. When the group does not see it, you will have to make a judgment call as to whether or not to interrupt the group process to point out the person’s need. Usually, it can wait a bit to be addressed, but once in a while it must be dealt with right then and there. But, the group in such a case will most likely recognize it and not need your prompting. But if the group needs your help, then you will need to point out that the person needs the group’s emotional support to be able to contribute. For example, a member might be very good at putting on social events but not have the confidence to volunteer when the group is asking if anyone will plan a group party. The person might need affirmation in order to volunteer. You might need to point out the need for the group to express its confidence in the person for her or him to volunteer.

And in time you will notice that each and every group member has some important, specific emotional need whether that be affirmation, encouragement, friendliness, reassurance, or some other emotionally supportive expression to move forward in life and in his or her performance in the group. You will notice when people shut down, a sure sign of some emotional need. Since you will be doing so little of the talking and work, you will instead work hard in your mind to try to figure out what happened to shut the person down. Then you will wait for the time when such shut-down seriously affects the group’s process. That will be the time for you to sensitively invite the group’s understanding and help.

Mutual Aid

Sometimes a group needs to provide mutual aid to group members and/or the group. Mutual aid is hands-on help, not emotional help. If a group member needs help in moving to a new apartment, talking things over with an angry landlord, food for her children, money for a doctor bill, etc., the group might want to consider how to get that person the needed help. When the need is not at all related to the group purpose, it is optional that the group respond. However, helping will in every case raise that person’s contribution to the group as the burden is lifted. The group with your help will have to assess whether the person can acquire the needed resources or if the group will have to get involved.

Then there are times when the group has to give mutual aid regarding the group itself, as in getting a handicapped person up stairs to the meeting room or moving the meeting room to a more accessible spot. Such needs for immediate mutual aid will be obvious.

Keep This in Mind

Regarding both emotional support and mutual aid, keep this in mind: groups can become so task-oriented (for example, Bible study), that helping one another is forgotten. The successful group leader is constantly watching and analyzing whether or not the group has seen and responded to any critical need for emotional or physical support, provided such impacts the group purpose. For example, if a group member just lost his job, a care group would spend a whole lot more time giving emotional and physical support than a church board or missions committee where only brief support would fit with the group’s purpose. That is why we recommend that every single church member be in a care group, home church, or whatever you want to call the group, where the purpose is Christian community and taking care of one another. Then the church board or committee does not need to leave its purpose for lengthy times of encouragement, but can quickly show loving concern and pray for the unemployed group member. The skillful leader of a church committee helps the group delegate needed emotional and/or physical support to a resource outside of the committee so that progress is not impeded on the committee’s purpose. You can see why it should be so comforting to church leadership to have church members folded into groups with the assignment of Christian community.

Next, let's look at the need for the group to sometimes help a member get outside help.

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