Empowerment Leadership Model for Small Groups, Teams, & Families
Lesson 1/5
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Empower the Group, Team, and Family
by Not Doing Anything Essential that It Can Do
Note: Whenever "group" or "team" is used, it can mean "group", "team", or "family".
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Most leaders do too many things that are the responsibility of the group and its members. For example, group and team leaders as well as parents will offer encouragement, but this can keep the group members from encouraging one another and growing in their relationship skills.
Impatience is part of the problem. Leaders want the group to move along toward its purpose as swiftly as possible. Therefore, when things seem to bog down, leaders begin to help with the group purpose. Instead, group and team leaders should remember that they are there to build the team, not hurry the team on to accomplish its purpose. The stronger and healthier the group, the better will be the eventual accomplishment of the purpose.
The leader must remember that it is his or her job to help the group develop its strengths, processes, and overall functioning. If the leader does things to hurry the group on, he or she will be hindering individual and group development. Unless there is an urgent timeline for some reason, the leader must be patient about the group purpose and very active in helping the group and its members grow into the tasks required to reach the group purpose. The leader will help the group rise up to the tasks rather than help with the tasks. This will lead to the development of a strong capable group that will pick up speed and, in time, will do much more than if the leader helped with the group's effort instead of its development.
In reality, group leaders have too much to do in helping the group develop into a powerful social system to do what is the group's work. Once the leader understands all of the things he or she has to observe, to analyze, and to helpfully intervene , the leader will be glad to enable the group and its members to do its own work.
Here are some of the things that come naturally to leaders that they need to use great
self-control to keep from doing. There may be rare situations where they will have to do them, but if they do them unnecessarily, they will cripple the group. Dependency on the contribution of the leader will develop, and potential contributions by group members and the group as a whole will be drastically reduced.
Leaders should not give information that the group and its members can get themselves. Instead, if helped to find the information for themselves, individual group members and the group as a whole will pick up skills and become stronger.
Imagine that you are teaching a Sunday School class for new believers. You are explaining that God is the one who can make the greatest contribution for victory. You comment that He helped Gideon conquer a much larger army by using only a small group that drank water a certain way with their hands by doing most of the work Himself.
Someone then asks you how many were in Gideon's army. Do you answer?
No, you certainly do not want to answer that question.
First, you would ask if anyone could answer the person's question. But, because this is a class of people relatively unfamiliar with the Bible, no one answers. Then you would ask if anyone knew how to find the answer. Someone might know about a concordance. If not, you would explain that there is one in the church library and ask someone to use it to find the answer for next week.
You also ask that person to come back and teach everyone else how to use the concordance.
Consider the growth in self-confidence for the person who uses the concordance and teaches the others. Consider the communication from yourself that every one of them can find things in the Bible. If you answered the question, the opportunity for growth would be stolen from the class.
However, if this was a group of seasoned believers with much Bible study background, you still would not answer the question. Even though the person asking is looking at you, you would know that someone probably knows the answer. So, you would remain silent and wait for a group member to give the information. That might build a person's self-confidence or build a relationship bridge between two people in the Sunday School class. If no one did answer, you would merely ask, "Can anyone answer that question?" After someone answered the inquiry, you would ask why that did not happen automatically and encourage more spontaneous class participation.
Sharing ideas about how to achieve the group purpose before giving the group, team, or family a chance to deal with it.
Let's say that the group is stuck on where they can buy some needed materials. The leader knows of a good source. If it is essential that the group or team learn how to work together to discover information in pursuit of its purpose, then the skillful leader keeps quiet. The group will work this out, and in doing so will develop skills. More importantly, interpersonal relationships within the team will deepen and team spirit, confidence and camaraderie will grow, not to mention many more benefits.
Offering encouragement before giving the group, team, or family a chance to give it.
Encouraging others is a skill that all group members must develop. The wise leader does not want to do anything to inhibit the learning of that skill.
Let's say that someone in the group is very discouraged, seems to want to give up, and drops out of making suggestions. The group might be so involved with problem-solving as to not even notice. The leader knows that to be most successful, the group needs the contributions of everyone. Therefore, this group member needs to be encouraged.
The really skilled group leader knows that he or she cannot do the encouragement without crippling the group. He or she needs to help the group pay attention to what is happening to its members in the same way that a driver needs to pay attention to the sounds of the car to avoid negative consequences. The skilled group leader, team leader or parent in a family works hard to think of a way to help the group notice that someone needs to be encouraged and brought back into the action.
In essence, the group leader needs to find a way to give the group its work of seeing that someone has a need that must be addressed if that need is prohibiting necessary contribution. He or she will try to identify things that can be said that do not take too much of the work/responsibility away from the group. Here are some things the leader might say and the percentage of the group's work that might be taken away.
Silence. The leader doesn't say a thing. (100% of the work given to the group.) The leader thinks that in time the group will see the problem and act. He or she knows that nothing critical will be lost in waiting.
"There is something that the group is not dealing with that might be important." (5% of the work taken out of the group's hands.)
"Is the group getting as much participation as it needs from its members?" (15% of the work taken out of the group's hands.)
"Has the group seen that Joe needs to be encouraged?" (100% of the work of identifying that someone needs encouraging taken out of the group's hands. 0% taken away for the task of encouraging, if the leader does nothing more.)
However, encouraging the group as a whole might be justified at times, because the group is the leader's "client". But not if the leader can help the group encourage itself. That would be a fine skill for a group to have. If the leader does it, the group may never develop that skill.
Offering advice and suggesting ways to go about accomplishing the purpose or some other things too soon before giving the group, team, or family a chance to make these decisions.
Often the group leader has a lot of experience and knows how the group or its members need to do things. It is very tempting to share this information and experience, but it is very harmful to the group. The group leader cannot feed his or her ego at the expense of the group. The leader should only feel good when he or she helps the group can find its own way.
The struggle of the group and its members to do everything needed is what gives group members skills and builds a capable group.
Intervening when there is conflict in the group or team or family before giving the group, team, or family a chance to deal with it.
People and groups get really strong when they deal with very difficult things. Conflict among group members qualifies as such a challenge. The leader will be very active in helping the group do what it needs to do, just not get too involved in resolving the conflict unless absolutely necessary.
Reminding the group or its members of things forgotten or not being dealt with.
Groups and their members need to remind themselves. Reminding the group is to treat its members like children. Even kids can learn to remember when the leader believes in them.
Working on improving group or team attendance.
It is the group's responsibility to keep its members responsible. Furthermore, it is the group that has the "benefits" that will entice members to make meetings top priority.
self-control to keep from doing. There may be rare situations where they will have to do them, but if they do them unnecessarily, they will cripple the group. Dependency on the contribution of the leader will develop, and potential contributions by group members and the group as a whole will be drastically reduced.
Leaders should not give information that the group and its members can get themselves. Instead, if helped to find the information for themselves, individual group members and the group as a whole will pick up skills and become stronger.
Imagine that you are teaching a Sunday School class for new believers. You are explaining that God is the one who can make the greatest contribution for victory. You comment that He helped Gideon conquer a much larger army by using only a small group that drank water a certain way with their hands by doing most of the work Himself.
Someone then asks you how many were in Gideon's army. Do you answer?
No, you certainly do not want to answer that question.
First, you would ask if anyone could answer the person's question. But, because this is a class of people relatively unfamiliar with the Bible, no one answers. Then you would ask if anyone knew how to find the answer. Someone might know about a concordance. If not, you would explain that there is one in the church library and ask someone to use it to find the answer for next week.
You also ask that person to come back and teach everyone else how to use the concordance.
Consider the growth in self-confidence for the person who uses the concordance and teaches the others. Consider the communication from yourself that every one of them can find things in the Bible. If you answered the question, the opportunity for growth would be stolen from the class.
However, if this was a group of seasoned believers with much Bible study background, you still would not answer the question. Even though the person asking is looking at you, you would know that someone probably knows the answer. So, you would remain silent and wait for a group member to give the information. That might build a person's self-confidence or build a relationship bridge between two people in the Sunday School class. If no one did answer, you would merely ask, "Can anyone answer that question?" After someone answered the inquiry, you would ask why that did not happen automatically and encourage more spontaneous class participation.
Sharing ideas about how to achieve the group purpose before giving the group, team, or family a chance to deal with it.
Let's say that the group is stuck on where they can buy some needed materials. The leader knows of a good source. If it is essential that the group or team learn how to work together to discover information in pursuit of its purpose, then the skillful leader keeps quiet. The group will work this out, and in doing so will develop skills. More importantly, interpersonal relationships within the team will deepen and team spirit, confidence and camaraderie will grow, not to mention many more benefits.
Offering encouragement before giving the group, team, or family a chance to give it.
Encouraging others is a skill that all group members must develop. The wise leader does not want to do anything to inhibit the learning of that skill.
Let's say that someone in the group is very discouraged, seems to want to give up, and drops out of making suggestions. The group might be so involved with problem-solving as to not even notice. The leader knows that to be most successful, the group needs the contributions of everyone. Therefore, this group member needs to be encouraged.
The really skilled group leader knows that he or she cannot do the encouragement without crippling the group. He or she needs to help the group pay attention to what is happening to its members in the same way that a driver needs to pay attention to the sounds of the car to avoid negative consequences. The skilled group leader, team leader or parent in a family works hard to think of a way to help the group notice that someone needs to be encouraged and brought back into the action.
In essence, the group leader needs to find a way to give the group its work of seeing that someone has a need that must be addressed if that need is prohibiting necessary contribution. He or she will try to identify things that can be said that do not take too much of the work/responsibility away from the group. Here are some things the leader might say and the percentage of the group's work that might be taken away.
Silence. The leader doesn't say a thing. (100% of the work given to the group.) The leader thinks that in time the group will see the problem and act. He or she knows that nothing critical will be lost in waiting.
"There is something that the group is not dealing with that might be important." (5% of the work taken out of the group's hands.)
"Is the group getting as much participation as it needs from its members?" (15% of the work taken out of the group's hands.)
"Has the group seen that Joe needs to be encouraged?" (100% of the work of identifying that someone needs encouraging taken out of the group's hands. 0% taken away for the task of encouraging, if the leader does nothing more.)
However, encouraging the group as a whole might be justified at times, because the group is the leader's "client". But not if the leader can help the group encourage itself. That would be a fine skill for a group to have. If the leader does it, the group may never develop that skill.
Offering advice and suggesting ways to go about accomplishing the purpose or some other things too soon before giving the group, team, or family a chance to make these decisions.
Often the group leader has a lot of experience and knows how the group or its members need to do things. It is very tempting to share this information and experience, but it is very harmful to the group. The group leader cannot feed his or her ego at the expense of the group. The leader should only feel good when he or she helps the group can find its own way.
The struggle of the group and its members to do everything needed is what gives group members skills and builds a capable group.
Intervening when there is conflict in the group or team or family before giving the group, team, or family a chance to deal with it.
People and groups get really strong when they deal with very difficult things. Conflict among group members qualifies as such a challenge. The leader will be very active in helping the group do what it needs to do, just not get too involved in resolving the conflict unless absolutely necessary.
Reminding the group or its members of things forgotten or not being dealt with.
Groups and their members need to remind themselves. Reminding the group is to treat its members like children. Even kids can learn to remember when the leader believes in them.
Working on improving group or team attendance.
It is the group's responsibility to keep its members responsible. Furthermore, it is the group that has the "benefits" that will entice members to make meetings top priority.
Next, you will learn about how to stimulate interaction and synergy for maximum group, team, and family functioning.
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