Empowerment Leadership Model for Small Groups, Teams, & Families
How to Get People to Really Want to Join a Group
Note: Whenever "group" or "team" is used, it can mean "group", "team", or "family".
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Churches should offer small groups so that more powerful Christianity can happen as described in the pages of Scripture. Therefore, small groups are a very necessary and most vital expression of the church. It is wise to get every church member into a small group, eventually into a small group designed for community and obedience to The Togethers.
However, since small groups have been promoted as programs of the church rather than the church itself, small groups have sounded optional – not one of the most vital expressions of the church’s obedience. Thinking that they are just one more program the church offers, most people have grown resistant to the admonitions of church leadership to join small groups.
Instead, small groups must be presented as top priority – not at all as just a good idea. The critical nature of small groups as a church’s best chance for significant obedience and spiritual growth must be continually proclaimed.
Thus, four things must be done to attract at least 80% of church membership to small groups that exhibit ever-increasing levels of commitment to community – and where relationships come closer to what they are to be in the kingdom of God on earth.
1. Promote small groups as top priority for church obedience and helping church members be successful in life.
2. Show church members what they will get out of being in each small group offered by LENDING VISIONS. 3. Train small group leaders to lead groups as groups, not collections of individuals, in order to make certain that those who join groups will experience biblical community. Getting people to join groups is useless if they do not want to stay in them once they are there. 4. Ask people personally (face-to-face) to join a small group with as much community as they can be comfortable. Ask them to be committed to ever-increasing levels of community and obedience to The Togethers of Scripture. |
SMALL GROUPS AS PRIORITY
Church leadership must study the Bible and see for themselves that the church is Christians in relationship with one another and in relationship together with God doing The Togethers of Scripture. Once this is known, church leaders will value Christian community in small groups more than they value church programs per se. They will realize that obeying God not only has priority, but is what will keep people committed to church membership.
Once continually on the minds of pastors and church leaders, examples of community in small groups will come into sermons and conversations. When people hear over and over again that small groups are absolutely necessary, more and more people will join groups.
LENDING VISIONS SO PEOPLE SEE THE BENEFITS OF SMALL GROUP MEMBERSHIP
People want to join activities where there is an obvious benefit to them. So, in order to attract people to small groups, it is necessary to connect a person’s critical need(s) to what happens in the small group being offered. If people see clearly that one of their most important needs will be met by joining a group, they will join.
Lending a vision accomplishes this. Lending a vision is simply a statement or offer that connects an “IF” statement about being in a particular group with a “THEN” statement about the expected results.
Therefore, before you ask people to join a small group, it is necessary to list the real benefits of such participation. Don’t list hypothetical, pie-in-the-sky benefits you cannot pretty much stake your life on. If you do, you will lose people’s trust. This is why it is absolutely critical to put much effort into training your small group leaders so that the real benefits promised have the highest chance of actually happening.
We raise children by lending many visions. A familiar one is, “Eat your vegetables and you will grow up to have a strong body.” This is an “if-then” statement. “If you eat your vegetables, then you will grow up to have a strong body.” It lends a vision of a future strong and healthy physique.
Parenthetically, this same technique of lending a vision can get people into Sunday School classes and to other church events. Just stop telling people to come as a sign of their commitment to the church or as a sign of their spirituality. That used to work, but, fortunately, people are not so sure that everything served up in church is the church they have read about in the Bible for years and years.
Bible Study Small Group Lending-a-Vision Example: “If you join one of our small group Bible studies, then you will learn biblical truth from much input of others, see how it helps people live successfully for Jesus, as well as make new friends.” Community Small Group Lending-a-Vision Example: “If you join one of our small group communities, then you will experience true Christian community and begin receiving the many benefits of the kingdom of God to help you in all areas of life. And you will give to God what He asks from his people.” Self-Help Small Group Lending-a-Vision Example: “If you attend the Grief Recovery Group at our church, the pain of your loss will leave more quickly and you can soon remember your loved one without so much pain and proceed with life, less hindered by your loss.” Sunday School Lending-a-Vision Example: “If you attend our Sunday School class on the gospel of John, you will get to know Jesus more personally so that when you relate to Him in prayer and through service, you will talk to Him as He really is and serve Him in the manner that really counts to Him.” Short-Term Mission Trip Example: “If you come on this mission trip to serve the people of Nueva Laredo, Mexico, you will please God immensely and also learn to love more deeply. Your life will change so much for the better that words in this bulletin announcement are totally inadequate.” Church Leadership Team Lending-a-Vision Example: “If you have a longing for outreach to our community, then you should seriously consider joining our Outreach Committee. If you become a part of the Outreach Committee, you will see some of the deepest desires of your heart for bringing local people to Christ fulfilled through the work of this church.” |
Claiming that small groups are of value does not get many people into small groups. Imagine the makers of Bright Smile toothpaste saying to us, “Use our toothpaste because we say it’s good.” That’s what churches do to get people into small groups. Of course, it doesn’t work.
Some churches rely on people’s loyalty to participate in small groups. People will sometimes join groups to support the church, but they will exit as soon as a good excuse presents itself. More and more people don’t want their loyalty to Christ to be measured by participating in church programs. It won’t be long before showing support for a church by being in the building whenever the doors are open will be gone. Younger people don’t see the sense – long-time Christians are weary of doing it.
PERSONALLY ASK PEOPLE TO JOIN SMALL GROUPS & COMMIT TO INCREASING COMMUNITY
Since Christian community is one of the finest aspects of a church’s obedience and true community is possible in small groups, leadership should personally ask people, face-to-face, to join a small group. It should be similar in priority to asking people to give financially. Churches often visit with people personally to emphasize the importance of giving money to the work of the church. The same should be true of the importance of being the church as our Lord has asked us to be – in relationship with each other and together in relationship with Him.
ALL KINDS OF SMALL GROUPS CAN LEAD TO SMALL GROUP COMMUNITY
I believe strongly that small groups meeting for community (small group communities) should be the end goal of small group involvement. All other small group experiences should lead to decisions to join a group that has more time for obedience to The Togethers than the present group.
Not all people will feel comfortable joining a small group community where the agenda is the lives of group members. Not everyone is ready for the openness of self-disclosure. (But that should be the goal if significant growth in obedience and spiritual growth is to be available to the Christian individual.)
Fortunately, there are all sorts of small groups for the church to offer. People occasionally need the specific help of self-help groups. Many people are also used to joining Bible study groups. Church teams and committees are also places people can begin their small group journey toward more and more obedient community.
The key is to make certain that the leaders of all of these kinds of groups allow some community to happen. If these groups only teach information, churches will stay institutions of higher education rather than communities for holy living. But, there should be some time available for interaction between group members (relationship, community). Merely answering questions posed by the leader will not lead to community. The model of small group leadership we teach will explain what needs to be done to bring some community to each and every kind of group meeting.
FURTHER DISCUSSION
The easiest kind of small groups to motivate people to join are self-help support groups such as for alcoholism, divorce recovery, grief, weight loss, exercise, and a host of other problem areas. These are the easiest to recruit for because a benefit is clearly implied. People at least can guess what value they might get out of participating in the group.
People carefully consider what they will get out of spending their time, money or personal risk. No longer do they blindly follow leaders, even pastors, they trust. So, we can no longer just say to those under our spiritual care, “It’s good for you – do it please.”
Too often when I visit churches, I hear announcements that encourage people to join small groups with only vague references to any benefits for God or the individual. Although the church is definitely offering these groups to help people, too often the impression is that the benefit is primarily for the church and its programs.
That is why we must cease promoting the church as an activity or as a facility or as a time on Sunday or as an organization. We must begin to promote the church as the people and their relationships with one another and together with God.
It used to be that a good reason for doing something God asked of us was that He asked it of us. Not so in this day and age. Shamefully, contemporary Christians ask, “What’s in it for me?”
God asks for many things regarding relationships among Christians, and we call those things The Togethers. God's request should be all that is necessary. But it is not. We seem to have to take what God asks and change it into what God knows is best for us. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all we had to say to the people of our churches was, “God wants many things from us, things like encouraging one another and examining one another’s faith. The only way we can do that to the depth that God is asking is if we are all in a small group community. So, let’s all do it!”
God is asking us to do these things for Him out or our love for Him. “We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19) Because of his free gift of salvation in Christ, do we see him as doing things for us rather than, through obedience, our doing things for Him?
I have had to overcome my “purist” tendencies and see that we can in the very same breath proclaim what God wants and also gain the good that will come to us by obeying. So it is possible to explain small group community in this way.
“God commands us, out of our love for Him, to live together in community. He wants his people to be obedient in being together in His Way – out of love for Him – even though God’s instructions also bring us the best in life. The things He asks of us, such as encouragement and bearing one another’s burdens, can only be done in small groups where there is ample time for people to care about one another, what I call small group community. Furthermore, these things God asks of us are also very good for us. They build us in our faith, make us more like Jesus, and prevent us from having to face the very difficult things of life alone. If God asks it of us, and it is very good for us, then let’s all sign up to be in a small group community. Let’s do this out of our love for God and what He has done for us. And let’s reap the benefits of such obedience in small group community.”
I realize that such an invitation is long. But, it does present both the primary reason for community, that it pleases God, as well as the secondary reason, that it delivers to us very valuable results. It is an “if - then” lending-a-vision statement, even if those words are not used. In an expanded way, done so for understanding, it is saying, “If we live together in small group community, then we will please God and receive many blessings.”
Every one of the 65 Togethers has something in it for God - worship - and some things for us - spiritual growth into God’s likeness. Furthermore, most of the 65 have for us some victory in living.
The more these things are spelled out, the higher percentage of a congregation will join small groups. One announcement, or a few bulletin announcements will not communicate the importance or necessity of Christian community in small groups. In fact, brief or short-lived announcements will make such community look like a church program, like advertising a church supper. If Christian community is absolutely critical for worship, obedience in lifestyle, and witness, then it must be continually touted.
A WAY TO GET PEOPLE INTO SMALL GROUPS RIGHT AT THE START
Here’s an idea that might appeal to some of you. It is based on our teaching about how to reach people through a group purpose statement that is based on tuning-in to where people are in their lives, how they are thinking and feeling about things. Then the small group leader offers them a small group experience that has a good chance of giving them something they think is critical.
Establish a small group (don’t call it a class) during your Sunday School time just for those who have visited your church and are trying to decide whether or not your church will meet their needs – as they perceive them. Since most people come to church the first time planning on only going to the worship service, have whoever is in charge of greeting new visitors explain that there is a group where people can go to discuss what they are looking for in a church and to find out if your church is the place they might get what they need – or if they need to try out other churches. That person should explain that your church recognizes that you cannot be all things to all people. They are then invited to come the next week to that group before (or after) the worship service. For those churches that do not have Sunday School, the group could be meeting in a home or some other time at the church.
The key here is the group purpose which is not one to promote your church, but to help them help one another identify what they are looking for in a church while experiencing a bit of Christian community right from the start at your church. At the group, which should be ongoing and people should come to it for from four to six weeks, you would explain that it is a time when they as Christians can help one another identify what they really want in being a part of a church and to see how your church measures up. Also explain that it is also a place where they can discuss what is going on in their lives and pray for one another.
The typical new member’s class asks visitors to discuss the church’s agendas. The church is more important than they are. This is a big mistake. Those who want to help others must always try to start on those people’s agendas. Churches should meet new members where they are at, which is searching for a church for some specific reasons (their very own reasons).
Typically, new member’s classes tell about the church, its doctrines and programs. Presumably, this is so that people can make up their mind about the church, but in reality it is often a “sales job”. And, regardless of the church’s intentions, visitors will perceive that the discussion started out with what the church wants to tell, not what they want to express.
So, a small group (that is actually Christian community) where visitors can state what they are looking for will communicate that your church is interested in them -- not primarily your church’s programs. And, in telling what they are looking for, aspects of their lives will come out for comment and prayer, and for other benefits of the church such as shared hurt and shared joy, Christian counsel and many others of The Togethers. They will experience community while sizing up your church. These visitors will be drawn to your church by the closeness they develop in this first Christian community small group. Sometimes this introductory group can transition to be one of the small community groups of your church.
CONCLUDING REMARKS
People usually join a small group to learn the Bible or something else that might help them. This is the hallmark of the Christian small group movement. And it can keep people involved in small groups for considerable time. But eventually most people get tired of just continually learning. They usually keep doing it because of friendships, not learning.
Then some join small groups to support the church and its programs. Or they might join for a short-term need such as to make friends. Both of these later reasons will fade in time.
Churches find that it is rather difficult these days to get most of their membership into small groups. My guess is that participation in small groups is hindered most by the following three things: (a) there is only a limited amount of time available for “church things”, (b) both husband and wife feel they must be in the same small group; and (c) the Christian life and the church just hasn’t delivered truly valuable and vital results in the past and people distrust that any church program will be worthwhile.
But, the two main reasons Christians should be in small groups meeting for community are (a) out of love for God, since He requests it, and (b) to meet a very important and basic need.
Some churches rely on people’s loyalty to participate in small groups. People will sometimes join groups to support the church, but they will exit as soon as a good excuse presents itself. More and more people don’t want their loyalty to Christ to be measured by participating in church programs. It won’t be long before showing support for a church by being in the building whenever the doors are open will be gone. Younger people don’t see the sense – long-time Christians are weary of doing it.
PERSONALLY ASK PEOPLE TO JOIN SMALL GROUPS & COMMIT TO INCREASING COMMUNITY
Since Christian community is one of the finest aspects of a church’s obedience and true community is possible in small groups, leadership should personally ask people, face-to-face, to join a small group. It should be similar in priority to asking people to give financially. Churches often visit with people personally to emphasize the importance of giving money to the work of the church. The same should be true of the importance of being the church as our Lord has asked us to be – in relationship with each other and together in relationship with Him.
ALL KINDS OF SMALL GROUPS CAN LEAD TO SMALL GROUP COMMUNITY
I believe strongly that small groups meeting for community (small group communities) should be the end goal of small group involvement. All other small group experiences should lead to decisions to join a group that has more time for obedience to The Togethers than the present group.
Not all people will feel comfortable joining a small group community where the agenda is the lives of group members. Not everyone is ready for the openness of self-disclosure. (But that should be the goal if significant growth in obedience and spiritual growth is to be available to the Christian individual.)
Fortunately, there are all sorts of small groups for the church to offer. People occasionally need the specific help of self-help groups. Many people are also used to joining Bible study groups. Church teams and committees are also places people can begin their small group journey toward more and more obedient community.
The key is to make certain that the leaders of all of these kinds of groups allow some community to happen. If these groups only teach information, churches will stay institutions of higher education rather than communities for holy living. But, there should be some time available for interaction between group members (relationship, community). Merely answering questions posed by the leader will not lead to community. The model of small group leadership we teach will explain what needs to be done to bring some community to each and every kind of group meeting.
FURTHER DISCUSSION
The easiest kind of small groups to motivate people to join are self-help support groups such as for alcoholism, divorce recovery, grief, weight loss, exercise, and a host of other problem areas. These are the easiest to recruit for because a benefit is clearly implied. People at least can guess what value they might get out of participating in the group.
People carefully consider what they will get out of spending their time, money or personal risk. No longer do they blindly follow leaders, even pastors, they trust. So, we can no longer just say to those under our spiritual care, “It’s good for you – do it please.”
Too often when I visit churches, I hear announcements that encourage people to join small groups with only vague references to any benefits for God or the individual. Although the church is definitely offering these groups to help people, too often the impression is that the benefit is primarily for the church and its programs.
That is why we must cease promoting the church as an activity or as a facility or as a time on Sunday or as an organization. We must begin to promote the church as the people and their relationships with one another and together with God.
It used to be that a good reason for doing something God asked of us was that He asked it of us. Not so in this day and age. Shamefully, contemporary Christians ask, “What’s in it for me?”
God asks for many things regarding relationships among Christians, and we call those things The Togethers. God's request should be all that is necessary. But it is not. We seem to have to take what God asks and change it into what God knows is best for us. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all we had to say to the people of our churches was, “God wants many things from us, things like encouraging one another and examining one another’s faith. The only way we can do that to the depth that God is asking is if we are all in a small group community. So, let’s all do it!”
God is asking us to do these things for Him out or our love for Him. “We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19) Because of his free gift of salvation in Christ, do we see him as doing things for us rather than, through obedience, our doing things for Him?
I have had to overcome my “purist” tendencies and see that we can in the very same breath proclaim what God wants and also gain the good that will come to us by obeying. So it is possible to explain small group community in this way.
“God commands us, out of our love for Him, to live together in community. He wants his people to be obedient in being together in His Way – out of love for Him – even though God’s instructions also bring us the best in life. The things He asks of us, such as encouragement and bearing one another’s burdens, can only be done in small groups where there is ample time for people to care about one another, what I call small group community. Furthermore, these things God asks of us are also very good for us. They build us in our faith, make us more like Jesus, and prevent us from having to face the very difficult things of life alone. If God asks it of us, and it is very good for us, then let’s all sign up to be in a small group community. Let’s do this out of our love for God and what He has done for us. And let’s reap the benefits of such obedience in small group community.”
I realize that such an invitation is long. But, it does present both the primary reason for community, that it pleases God, as well as the secondary reason, that it delivers to us very valuable results. It is an “if - then” lending-a-vision statement, even if those words are not used. In an expanded way, done so for understanding, it is saying, “If we live together in small group community, then we will please God and receive many blessings.”
Every one of the 65 Togethers has something in it for God - worship - and some things for us - spiritual growth into God’s likeness. Furthermore, most of the 65 have for us some victory in living.
The more these things are spelled out, the higher percentage of a congregation will join small groups. One announcement, or a few bulletin announcements will not communicate the importance or necessity of Christian community in small groups. In fact, brief or short-lived announcements will make such community look like a church program, like advertising a church supper. If Christian community is absolutely critical for worship, obedience in lifestyle, and witness, then it must be continually touted.
A WAY TO GET PEOPLE INTO SMALL GROUPS RIGHT AT THE START
Here’s an idea that might appeal to some of you. It is based on our teaching about how to reach people through a group purpose statement that is based on tuning-in to where people are in their lives, how they are thinking and feeling about things. Then the small group leader offers them a small group experience that has a good chance of giving them something they think is critical.
Establish a small group (don’t call it a class) during your Sunday School time just for those who have visited your church and are trying to decide whether or not your church will meet their needs – as they perceive them. Since most people come to church the first time planning on only going to the worship service, have whoever is in charge of greeting new visitors explain that there is a group where people can go to discuss what they are looking for in a church and to find out if your church is the place they might get what they need – or if they need to try out other churches. That person should explain that your church recognizes that you cannot be all things to all people. They are then invited to come the next week to that group before (or after) the worship service. For those churches that do not have Sunday School, the group could be meeting in a home or some other time at the church.
The key here is the group purpose which is not one to promote your church, but to help them help one another identify what they are looking for in a church while experiencing a bit of Christian community right from the start at your church. At the group, which should be ongoing and people should come to it for from four to six weeks, you would explain that it is a time when they as Christians can help one another identify what they really want in being a part of a church and to see how your church measures up. Also explain that it is also a place where they can discuss what is going on in their lives and pray for one another.
The typical new member’s class asks visitors to discuss the church’s agendas. The church is more important than they are. This is a big mistake. Those who want to help others must always try to start on those people’s agendas. Churches should meet new members where they are at, which is searching for a church for some specific reasons (their very own reasons).
Typically, new member’s classes tell about the church, its doctrines and programs. Presumably, this is so that people can make up their mind about the church, but in reality it is often a “sales job”. And, regardless of the church’s intentions, visitors will perceive that the discussion started out with what the church wants to tell, not what they want to express.
So, a small group (that is actually Christian community) where visitors can state what they are looking for will communicate that your church is interested in them -- not primarily your church’s programs. And, in telling what they are looking for, aspects of their lives will come out for comment and prayer, and for other benefits of the church such as shared hurt and shared joy, Christian counsel and many others of The Togethers. They will experience community while sizing up your church. These visitors will be drawn to your church by the closeness they develop in this first Christian community small group. Sometimes this introductory group can transition to be one of the small community groups of your church.
CONCLUDING REMARKS
People usually join a small group to learn the Bible or something else that might help them. This is the hallmark of the Christian small group movement. And it can keep people involved in small groups for considerable time. But eventually most people get tired of just continually learning. They usually keep doing it because of friendships, not learning.
Then some join small groups to support the church and its programs. Or they might join for a short-term need such as to make friends. Both of these later reasons will fade in time.
Churches find that it is rather difficult these days to get most of their membership into small groups. My guess is that participation in small groups is hindered most by the following three things: (a) there is only a limited amount of time available for “church things”, (b) both husband and wife feel they must be in the same small group; and (c) the Christian life and the church just hasn’t delivered truly valuable and vital results in the past and people distrust that any church program will be worthwhile.
But, the two main reasons Christians should be in small groups meeting for community are (a) out of love for God, since He requests it, and (b) to meet a very important and basic need.
Copyright 2013 Dick Wulf, Colorado, USA